What Makes Me Happy

All the regular items that fall under the makes-me-happy list apply, of course. But I realized today, after a nearly week-long Christmas hiatus from practicing (geez, I hate it when I don’t practice for a week!) that when I wrote in my daily journal (morning pages in The Artist’s Way speak) and began to dream about how I wanted to create a special performance of the Rachmaninoff Rhapsody on a Theme by Paganini, I felt totally energized and alive.

The sages say that in order to be happy, a person needs three things: 1. someone to love, 2. something to do and 3. something to look forward to. It is the third item that caused me to feel so soul-poppingly awake. The invitation to play the Rach-Pag Variations, as they are familiarly known, is for October 2007. Slightly more than ten months seems like a long way off but there are other commitments to be met before then and there are new aspects of this performance that really have me all a-twit.

The details of how I go about preparing this performance I hope to share in an on-going diary. The feeling I am relishing today is the sudden laser focus and excitement that the prospect of the performance is giving my life. Now even jogging takes on new meaning: I want to be physically fit. I want to have the release of energy and positive glow about life that jogging seems to give me.

I want to create the most powerful experience for the audience that I possibly can. I want to share the magic of Rachmaninoff’s ballet score that tells the legend of the great violinist Paganini selling his soul to the Devil in order to be able to play better than anyone else. Practicing needs to be the most specific and intensely attended-to that I have ever done. I want to know the sound of every note and to be totally connected with those sounds, each one of which has meaning and place in the score. In addition to the research on the story, the historical context of the legend, Rachmaninoff and ballet will all of which be incorporated into the performance. Therefore, the other parts of my life need to be unfolding in a logical and well-organized manner each day.

Boy, am I lucky. Imagine having the opportunity to play this great piece of music with a fine orchestra.