94 and 4

94 and 4! A few weeks ago, I witnessed the most powerful and wonderful interaction between my 94-year-old mother and 4-year-old grandson. Giggles and laughter filled the room, and the pleasure and delight were obviously mutual. It was truly a demonstration of communication at its best – when each listens attentively to the other, responds appropriately and enthusiastically and does not interrupt or try to change the other’s perception.

Yes, they enjoyed being silly together, but in case you are thinking that a 94-year-old often becomes like a child, in this instance, you are wrong. My mother is mentally as keen as you and I. Unlike most of us busy and preoccupied adults, it was my mother’s ability to focus completely on her great-grandson that made the connection genuine and special. When he was being silly, with a smile on her face, she told him without implied judgment, “You are silly.” He laughed even more and was thrilled to discover that it was okay, even fun, to have someone else enjoy his silliness. What a change from the usual adult admonition: “Stop acting so silly!” And so the play went on with unabashed enthusiasm and unbounded glee.

Although ten years shy of a century separates them in age, there was no difference in how they felt as human beings. They were two individuals who clearly enjoyed being together, respected each other and generated reciprocal positive energy. People are people regardless of age. The need for human connection does not diminish over the years. We all need to be validated, and we all thrive when someone else gives us undivided attention and unconditional acceptance.